FukDatShhh.CoM

NEW YORK (UPI) – The health of employed U.S. workers is trending downward and one in three experiences one or more symptoms of clinical depression, researchers say.

A report by the Families and Work Institute also says 28 percent of employees report that their overall health is “excellent,” down from 34 percent six years ago.

The report also reveals:

• 41 percent of employees report experiencing three or more indicators of stress sometimes, often or very often.
• One in five employees has trouble falling asleep very often or fairly often, and 31 percent awaken too early and have trouble falling back to sleep.
• 21 percent are treated for high blood pressure and 14 percent are treated for high cholesterol.

The report says 49 percent of U.S. employees have not engaged in regular physical exercise in the last 30 days, including 22 percent not engaging in any rigorous physical exercise. One in four U.S. workers smokes.

Having paid vacations bode well for personal health and well-being, as well as intent to stay in one’s job, the study says.

The study used data from the National Study of the Changing Workforce, which surveys the U.S. workforce every five years. Sample sizes average about 3,500, including wage and salaried employees, as well as self-employed workers.

Copyright 2009 by United Press International

Those shoes are not blue nor are they suede.

How am I supposed to slap a ho without an essential part of my balanced breakfast?

Nothing says sanitary like a parrot in the produce section…

“What are you wearing sexy?” -Cowboy boots. “Ya, that’s hot.” – Pink velour pants.

“Ya I like that.” – a little green baby girl hoodie. “Oh damn, that sounds sexy.”

– and I kinda look like Gallagher. “Oh ya…wait…what?”

Let’s run through my rock star list…. Mullet? – check; big sunglasses? – check; heart shaped tattoo?

 – u know I love my mom; Cut jean shorts? – are there any other type of shorts?; wife beater tied at

the midriff – check;….. He is an official ROCK STAR!

I think I just sharted…

WTF???

Is that Rainbow Brite all grown up??

Is that a soccer ball?  A map of the solar system?  The structure of a sub-atomic particle?

I have absolutely no idea what to say…

Is that a gangster leotard?

 

Everyone loves the man in the yellow go-go boots!

Nice purse!

Do you see the flame shoes buddy? That means I will not think twice about karate chopping you

Into the middle of next week!

AHH! I love the frozen food section… it tingles!

Umm… excuse me, sir…

At least the purse matches, right?

Rawr…

No, honey, it’s an ancient Egyptian symbol of prosperity, I swear!

I was wondering why you suddenly smelled better.

Every man has an NFL jersey AND pink short-shorts in their wardrobe, right?

I have the same outfit, only in red.

Just in case you had the urge…

Now all we need is Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem for a reunion tour.

Yes, you are seeing that correctly.  Old man + large, supple breast implants.

1. Pick up after yourselves. Don’t leave your belongings all over the place.
2. Make sure your hosts have time to themselves. It’s exhausting to have people around all the time, and we need to take care of day-to-day business.
3. Don’t assume your hosts can abandon their daily schedule to accommodate you. Plan your arrival and departure with them ahead of time.
4. Contribute to the cost of groceries. Don’t complain if your hosts use products you wouldn’t. If you want something special, buy it yourself.
5. Take your hosts out to dinner at least once — and pay.
6. If you expect your hosts to accompany you to tourist sites, offer to pay at least part of their admission. Remember, they have probably been to these sites dozens of times.
7. Consider purchasing a small gift like a bottle of wine to say “thank you.”
8. If you don’t like these “extras,” stay at a hotel.

I work in the emergency department of a hospital. Based on our daily observations, my co-workers and I compiled a short list of commonsense guidelines to help the public understand how an emergency department really works.

1. An “emergency” is defined as a life-threatening injury or illness. The average wait in an ER waiting room is 4 1/2 hours. After checking in, you will be seen by a triage nurse to determine the seriousness of your illness or injury. Patients who are considered “critical” will be treated first.
2. Please do not come to the ER with your entire family unless they, too, are sick or injured. People with communicable diseases may be sitting in the lobby, so you could be putting your loved ones at risk.
3. Once inside the examination room, the patient’s blood will be taken and tests may be done. Getting test results can take time, especially if the ER is busy — and no, you cannot eat or drink until those test results are back.
4. The ER discharges patients 24 hours a day, so plan accordingly. The hospital is not responsible for paying for your ride home, and you cannot stay in the exam room waiting for a ride to come for you. We must use the room for the next patient.
5. Above all, remember that our staff is here to help you feel better, not to inconvenience you. You are the patient — so please be patient.

– ER NURSE IN FLORIDA

PASADENA, Calif. (UPI) – The planet Jupiter has been slammed by a mysterious object so large it left an indentation the size of Earth, NASA scientists said.

An amateur astronomer in Australia noticed the mark Sunday and contacted scientists at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory, JPL, in Pasadena, California, CNN reported Tuesday.

The object could have been a block of ice or a comet too faint for astronomers to have detected before impact, JPL scientist Glenn Orton told CNN.

This marked the second time scientists were able to observe an impact on Jupiter, the fifth planet from the sun and the largest planet in the solar system, JPL astronomer Leigh Fletcher said in an interview with New Scientist. Fifteen years ago, comet Shoemaker-Levy 9 broke into 21 pieces and hit the planet’s atmosphere.

“Given the rarity of these events, it’s extremely exciting to be involved in these observations,” Fletcher said.

Copyright 2009 by United Press International

Electric Train http://tinyurl.com/kn53nn