FukDatShhh.CoM

It’s easy for a gear-head to be discouraged about the state of the world, especially in times of Carpocalypse and Cash for Clunkers. But occasionally, a bright light of awesome renews the spirit. Road-legal bumper cars do just that.

Yes, you read that right; these little beasties are street legal. Either Kawasaki or Honda motorcycle engines for power, and retired vintage bumper car bodies – transformed into the most awesome form of mini-car we’ve ever seen.

There’s seven of these little monsters floating around California , and they’re all the creation of one man, Tom Wright, a gyro-gear loose builder on the outskirts of San Diego who figured the leftovers of the Long Beach Pike amusement park needed a more dignified end than the trash heap.

They were originally powered by Harley engines but rattled like heck and Tom replace them with Honda or Kawasaki 750’s… and a couple have been ‘measured’ [not run at] theoretically as capable of 160 MPH which is terrifyingly fast in machines with such a short wheelbase. Doesn’t mean we would totally rock one should the opportunity present itself. In fact, we now have only one burning desire, to see these things running a go kart track with a clown in the drivers seat.

Hint:

Click each picture for the FULL photo.

Those shoes are not blue nor are they suede.

How am I supposed to slap a ho without an essential part of my balanced breakfast?

Nothing says sanitary like a parrot in the produce section…

“What are you wearing sexy?” -Cowboy boots. “Ya, that’s hot.” – Pink velour pants.

“Ya I like that.” – a little green baby girl hoodie. “Oh damn, that sounds sexy.”

– and I kinda look like Gallagher. “Oh ya…wait…what?”

Let’s run through my rock star list…. Mullet? – check; big sunglasses? – check; heart shaped tattoo?

 – u know I love my mom; Cut jean shorts? – are there any other type of shorts?; wife beater tied at

the midriff – check;….. He is an official ROCK STAR!

I think I just sharted…

WTF???

Is that Rainbow Brite all grown up??

Is that a soccer ball?  A map of the solar system?  The structure of a sub-atomic particle?

I have absolutely no idea what to say…

Is that a gangster leotard?

 

Everyone loves the man in the yellow go-go boots!

Nice purse!

Do you see the flame shoes buddy? That means I will not think twice about karate chopping you

Into the middle of next week!

AHH! I love the frozen food section… it tingles!

Umm… excuse me, sir…

At least the purse matches, right?

Rawr…

No, honey, it’s an ancient Egyptian symbol of prosperity, I swear!

I was wondering why you suddenly smelled better.

Every man has an NFL jersey AND pink short-shorts in their wardrobe, right?

I have the same outfit, only in red.

Just in case you had the urge…

Now all we need is Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem for a reunion tour.

Yes, you are seeing that correctly.  Old man + large, supple breast implants.