FukDatShhh.CoM

DENVER (UPI) — A Denver man is facing jail time and $53,549 in library fines for checking out about 1,400 books and DVDs and selling many of them online, officials said.

Thomas Pilaar, 34, received a 10-year prison sentence Tuesday for illegally selling library items on the Internet, The Denver Post reported.

About 500 books and DVDs were found when Pilaar was arrested last year for a separate incident, the newspaper said.

Officials said he used seven library cards to obtain the items from libraries in Denver, Douglas County, Aurora, Colo., and Littleton, Colo.

The Denver district attorney’s office prosecuted Pilaar, the Post said.

Copyright 2008 by United Press International

Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back & make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned.

Mrs.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner’s manual that she couldn’t actually do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons around.

If you get into an accident – especially a relatively minor, “fender bender” type of accident where there are no major injuries involved, just some bent metal – how do you proceed? The following checklist might be helpful:

1. First, make absolutely sure no one is seriously hurt — Anything more than minor scrapes and bumps means call 911 first. Request that EMS and police (in that order) be dispatched to the scene; make it clear to the operator that there are people who need medical attention.
2. Wait for the police to arrive — Some recommend moving the vehicles off to the shoulder – for reasons of courtesy and safety. However, moving the vehicles may also make it less clear who is at fault – and who gets a ticket, as well as the blame when it comes time to settle the bill with the insurance company. Best advice: Turn off the engine, turn on the hazard lights, remove the keys – and wait for the law to arrive. (In states that have “no fault” laws, obviously, this is less of an issue. In that case, and assuming the vehicles are operable and it’s safe to do so, go ahead and move them out of the way.)
   If possible, you can direct traffic around the accident scene. If the conditions are dangerous – lots of cars, heavy traffic – it is smart to get away from the cars and just wait for the cops to show. Other drivers may be annoyed by the inconvenience, but given that even a minor accident can involve thousands of dollars in damage – and given that if you are found to be at fault, your insurance premiums may go up for several years to come – creating a temporary and probably minor obstruction to the flow of traffic seems more than justified, especially if you are certain the accident is the other driver’s fault.
3. Keep your conversation with the other driver pleasant, but minimal — You are required by law to provide your driver’s license and insurance information to the other driver; but you are not required to discuss who is at fault or anything else about what happened. You want to avoid making any statement that could be used against you in court – or possibly in a lawsuit. For example, don’t talk about your state of mind, that you were “in a hurry,” or “didn’t see” the other car. Etc. Express no opinion, one way or the other. Leave that to the police – and your insurance company – to sort out.
4. Deal with the damaged cars — If there’s any reason to suspect that the vehicle may not be roadworthy as a result of damage sustained in the accident, you’ll want to get it towed to a dealership or repair shop. (Ideally, the one you will have do the repair work.)
   If the front of the car was hit – even if only seemed like a minor impact – look carefully for evidence of leaks. Green/orange drips are a tip that the radiator may have been damaged; driving could cause the vehicle to overheat in short order – and possibly cause major engine damage. If you see oil drips, it’s a clue there may have been damage to the oil pan or some other part – and again, you don’t want to drive the vehicle and risk further damage (or another wreck).
   1. If the vehicle was rear-ended, be certain that the gas tank is not leaking before you attempt to drive (or even start) the car. Pretty much any type of puddle or significant drip is cause for concern – and probably, a tow.
   2. Look for bent metal around the tires; if you see metal contacting or even close to any of the tires, a tow is probably the best bet.
   3. If none of the above problems are evident, be aware that the car may still not drive properly; an impact can, for example, throw off the alignment and make a car difficult to steer. Use common sense – and have it towed if it’s not more or less in the same operating condition it was in prior to the wreck. Paint scrapes and minor body damage is one thing; anything that affects the functionality of the vehicle another thing entirely.
5. If you have to get towed, remove all valuables from the car first — You’ve probably seen the same sign countless times: “Not responsible for theft, loss or damage to items left in the vehicle.” Take those words to heart. Remove any portable electronic devices (MP3 players, GPS units) as well as any valuables you may have in the glovebox or trunk. It’s also a really good idea to take with you any personal paperwork you might have in the car that has details about where you live, or personal data such as driver’s license number. People can be dirtbags; and the stress-filled and confusing post-accident hurly-burly is a fertile field for grifters looking to take advantage.
6. Be sure the tow truck is the right type for your vehicle and that proper procedures are used to tow it — The drive wheels (front or rear) should never be on the ground, especially if the car has an automatic transmission. Towing it this way can cause massive transmission damage because the lubricating fluid that would normally circulate and protect the internal moving parts is not being circulated with the engine off. All-wheel-drive cars (and vehicles with any type of permanent 4WD) should be carried on a flatbed. In fact, flatbed (or “rollback”) tow trucks are the best for all vehicles because they do not drag the car behind them, which risks mechanical damage as well as cosmetic damage caused by scraping it too close to the ground or by deforming the front (or rear) end by hoisting it up in the air.
7. Call your insurance company, pronto — It’s important to file a claim promptly; and it’s at least as important to get “your side” of the accident told just as promptly. Discuss with them where the car has been taken – or if you drove home, where you intend to take it. Remember that in most states, you have the right to choose the shop that will repair the car – not the insurance company. You also have the right (usually) to insist that factory replacement parts (not “generic” or used/junkyard parts) be used to repair your vehicle. Be sure to carefully read the estimate written up the adjuster – and determine whether it includes factory new parts – of generic aftermarket/used parts – before you sign it. Finally, never accept a settlement check until the repair work has been completely finished to your satisfaction.

A man is talking to the family doctor. “Doc, I think my wife’s going deaf.”

The doctor answers, “Well, here’s something you can try on her to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question. If she doesn’t answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this until she answers. Then you’ll be able to tell just how hard of hearing she really is.”

The man goes home and tries it out. He walks in the door and says, “Honey, what’s for dinner?” He doesn’t hear an answer, so he moves closer to her. “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Still no answer. He repeats this several times, until he’s standing just a few feet away from her.

Finally, she answers, “For the eleventh time, I said we’re having MEATLOAF!”

CLEVELAND HEIGHTS, Ohio (UPI) – Police in Cleveland Heights, Ohio, said they arrested a suspected serial burglar after he stopped to offer assistance to two officers.

The police said William Vickers, 46, stopped at about 1 a.m. Sunday to offer assistance to two officers who were attempting to help a woman who had locked herself out of her car, the Cleveland Plain Dealer reported Tuesday.

The officers told Vickers they had the situation well in hand but as the seemingly good Samaritan began walking away and into the light of a street lamp, one of the officers recognized him as a suspect in the After Midnight Burglar case.

Vickers is suspected of multiple burglaries four years ago as well as a break-in reported last week. Police fliers posted around the city bear the suspect’s face.

“It was nice for Willie to offer to help, and he probably has more experience getting into cars than our two officers on the scene,” Police Chief Martin Lentz said.

However, Vickers, who allegedly fought against the officers and damaged the woman’s car, now faces multiple charges including burglary, assault on a police officer and resisting arrest. He was being held in Cleveland Heights Jail.

Copyright 2008 by United Press International

NEW ORLEANS (UPI) – An Ohio grandmother thinks she has what it takes to compete against sibling pro quarterbacks Eli and Peyton Manning in an Oreo-licking contest.

Marie Balog, 74, of Chippewa Lake flew to New Orleans with her son Tuesday for the Double StufOreo Lick Race, the Akron Beacon-Journal reported. She was one of 10 finalists.

The finals will be Thursday at Isidore Newman High School, where the Manning brothers began their football careers. The winner will walk away with a $10,000 prize.

Balog told the newspaper she likes baking with Oreos — she uses them for cheesecake crust. But she said her son, Ted, is the one who really likes eating them, which is why she invited him to be her partner in the finals.

Balog is a big fan of contests and has already won trips to San Francisco and to a movie premiere in New York. She said this is the first time she has actually had to demonstrate a skill.

Copyright 2008 by United Press International

PARKFIELD, Calif. (UPI) – U.S. scientists say they observed changes in seismic wave speeds before two small California earthquakes — a finding that might lead to quake forecasts.

Study co-author Paul Silver of the Carnegie Institution said the discovery was made at the San Andreas Fault Observatory at Depth, located halfway between Los Angeles and San Francisco.

The observatory consists of two holes drilled into the fault zone. The researchers told the BBC they generate seismic waves deep in one hole and then time their arrival at a seismometer in the other hole. The speed of the waves varies due to stress-induced cracks opening and closing in the rocks.

One change was observed approximately two hours before the first earthquake and the other preceded a quake by about 10 hours.

“If you had 10 hours’ warning, from a practical point of view, you could evacuate populations, you could certainly get people out of buildings, you could get the fire department ready,” Silver told BBC News. “Hurricane (warnings) give you an idea of what could be done.”

The research that included Fenglin Niu of Rice University and scientists from the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory appears in the journal Nature.

Copyright 2008 by United Press International

“Do you believe in life after death?” the boss asked one of his employees.

“Yes, Sir.” the employee replied.

“Well, then, that makes everything just fine,” the boss went on. “After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother’s funeral, she stopped in to see you.”