FukDatShhh.CoM

GUTHRIE, Okla. (UPI) – An Oklahoma woman’s effort to teach her toddler daughter a simple song about dialing 911 in an emergency paid off when the mother fainted.

Jessica Eaves got her daughter, Madelyn, 3, to sing “911 green, 911 green,” The Oklahoman reported. When Madelyn saw her mother unconscious, she picked up her mother’s BlackBerry and picked out 911 and the green button.

Once Madelyn was on the phone with a dispatcher May 27, emergency workers were able to identify the block where she lived. She remained on the phone for 11 minutes with dispatchers asking her about her parents’ cars and other items that would lead the ambulance crew to the right house.

Eaves, who is pregnant, suffers from a medical condition that puts her at high risk of fainting. Last year, when she fainted during an earlier pregnancy, Madelyn got help by pushing the green button, which connected her to the last person to whom her mother had talked.

“I was ecstatic,” Eaves said when she learned of her daughter’s latest intervention. “I could not believe a 3-year-old girl was able to think that fast and that clearly.”

Copyright 2008 by United Press International

RALEIGH, N.C. (UPI) – The North Carolina Division of Motor Vehicles says it did not realize a sample license plate on its Web site bore letters that stand for a vulgar phrase.

State officials offered free replacement license plates in 2007 to nearly 10,000 people whose plates bore the letter combination “WTF,” which is common text messaging shorthand for a phrase that includes a four-letter profanity beginning with the letter “F,” The (Raleigh, N.C.) News & Observer reported Tuesday.

However, the DMV discovered this week that a plate bearing the letters appears on its Web site as an example of a personalized plate.

“I can’t believe it,” DMV Commissioner Bill Gore said. “Obviously, I didn’t know it was there.”

Officials said Monday the image should be replaced on the Web site within the next day.

Copyright 2008 by United Press International

SOMERSET, Pa. (UPI) – A 101-year-old Somerset, Pa., man who recently renewed his license might be the nation’s oldest licensed pilot, said the man who administered the pilot’s test.

Ernie Trent said he has been flying planes since the 1930s — including a stint training B-52 pilots during World War II — and he has never crashed an airplane or been injured by a plane-related incident, the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review reported.

“I just like airplanes,” Trent said.

Richard Gibbs, a longtime friend of Trent’s who oversaw the elderly pilot’s last proficiency test, described his friend as “the oldest licensed pilot in the United States. At least as far as I know.”

Gibbs said Trent, who must pass a proficiency test every two years, remains sturdy in the cockpit of his single-engine Avid Flyer plane.

“It’s very natural to him,” Gibbs said. “His skill level is pretty high.”

Copyright 2008 by United Press International

A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. “If I lose this case, I’ll be ruined!”

“It’s in the judge’s hands now,” said the lawyer.

“Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?”

“No! The judge is a stickler on ethical behavior. A stunt like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hold you in contempt of court.”

Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision in favor of the defendant. As the defendant left the courthouse, he said to his lawyer, “Thanks for the tip about the cigars. It really worked!”

Confidently the lawyer responded, “I’m sure we would have lost the case if you’d sent them.”

“But I did send them.”, replied the man.

“What?” shouted the lawyer?

“I sure did, that’s how we won the case… good thing I remembered to enclose the plaintiff’s business card.”

“How was your golf game, dear?” asked Jack’s wife Tracy.

“Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight’s gotten so bad I
couldn’t see where the ball went.”

“But you’re seventy-five years old, Jack!” admonished his wife, “Why
don’t you take my brother Scott along?”

“But he’s eighty-five and doesn’t even play golf anymore,” protested
Jack.

“But he’s got perfect eyesight. He could watch your ball,” Tracy
pointed out.

The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung, and the
ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. “Do you see it?”
asked Jack.

“Yup,” Scott answered.

“Well, where is it?” yelled Jack, peering off into the distance.

“I forgot.”