FukDatShhh.CoM

HOLLYWOOD, Fla. (UPI) – Three Florida siblings all share a June 13 birthday despite being born years apart, one of their parents notes.

Billy Etkin of Hollywood said all three of his children were born June 13 — including his new daughter Ana who was born this year — the South Florida Sun-Sentinel reported.

The 36-year-old, whose wife is still recovering from the recent birth, said the June 13 births of his 5-year-old son Foster and his 2-year-old daughter Sarah have made the date lucky.

Etkin said his children’s birth dates were not planned and expects it’ll be crazy when all three birthdays are celebrated on the same day.

“I’m looking forward to them getting older and really appreciating it,” Etkin told the Sun-Sentinel.

Copyright 2008 by United Press International

PARIS (UPI) – The International Astronomical Union said it has selected the term plutoid as a name for dwarf planets such as Pluto.

The action came nearly two years after the IAU introduced the category of dwarf planets, demoting Pluto from being categorized as a planet.

The IAU, with headquarters in Paris, defines plutoids as being celestial bodies in orbit around the sun at a distance greater than that of Neptune that have sufficient mass for their self-gravity to overcome rigid body forces so that they assume a hydrostatic equilibrium (nearly-spherical) shape, and that have not cleared the neighborhood around their orbit.

The two known and named plutoids are Pluto and Eris. It is expected that more plutoids will be named as new discoveries are made.

The IAU has been responsible for naming planetary bodies and their satellites since the early 1900s.

Copyright 2008 by United Press International

GAINESVILLE, Fla. (UPI) – A U.S. aerospace engineer has designed a plasma-propelled flying machine that looks much like the “flying saucers” depicted in numerous movies.

University of Florida mechanical and aerospace engineering Associate Professor Subrata Roy has submitted a patent application for his circular, spinning aircraft he calls a “wingless electromagnetic air vehicle,” or WEAV. The prototype measures less than 6 inches in diameter and will be powered by on-board batteries but Roy said the design theoretically should work in a much larger form.

“This is a very novel concept and, if it’s successful, it will be revolutionary,” Roy said.

The vehicle will be powered by magnetohydrodynamics, or the force created when a current or a magnetic field is passed through a conducting fluid. In the case of Roy’s aircraft, the conducting fluid will be created by electrodes covering the vehicle’s surfaces that will ionize the surrounding air into plasma that, in turn, creates lift and momentum.

The U.S. Air Force and the National Aeronautics and Space Administration have expressed interest in the aircraft and the university is seeking to license the design, he said.

Copyright 2008 by United Press International

Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers. “So,” he said, “I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe.” Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. “You, attorney Leon, gave me $15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me $10,000.”

The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check. He handed it to Leon … “Now then, I’m returning $5,000, and we’re going to decide this case solely on its merits.”

A guy walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window, “I want to open a fuckin’ checking account”

To which the lady replied, “I beg your pardon, what did you say?”

“Listen up damn it, I said I want to open a fuckin’ checking account right now.”

“Sir, I’m sorry but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank!”

The teller left the window and went over to the bank manager and told him about her situation. They both returned and the manager asked, “What seems to be the problem here?”

“There’s no damn problem,” the man said, “I just won 50 million in the lottery and I want to open a fuckin’ checking account in this damn bank!”

“I see sir,” the manager said, “and this bitch is giving you a hard time?”

PROVO, Utah (UPI) – A Provo, Utah, woman said she has recovered nearly $200,000 in checks that she threw out with the trash.

The woman, who asked to remain anonymous, said she flagged down the driver of the garbage truck as soon as she noticed the checks, which were from the company she works for, had gone missing, KTVX-TV, Salt Lake City, reported.

Brad Rollins, waste management supervisor for Provo, said a bay was cleared at the county garbage transfer station to allow the woman and a friend to sift through the load of trash to find the specific white kitchen bag they were looking for.

Rollins said the two women said a prayer and one of the women almost immediately picked up a bag that turned out to contain the missing documents.

“The checks were in great shape. They weren’t wrinkled, they were still flat, the deposit slip was still in there. She could’ve taken it right to the bank and they wouldn’t even have known where it had been, and it had been on a trip,” Rollins said.

Copyright 2008 by United Press International

BOYNTON BEACH, Fla. (UPI) – Police in Boynton Beach, Fla., said a suspected forklift thief was arrested after he was caught driving the vehicle about one mile from where it was stolen.

Investigators said Todd Barnes, 44, allegedly drove the 21,600-pound vehicle from a construction site and traveled about one mile before he was stopped by officers, the Palm Beach (Fla.) Post reported.

He was charged with grand larceny, trespassing on a construction site and driving with a suspended license.

Copyright 2008 by United Press International

Two little boys go into the grocery store. One is nine, one is four. The nine year old grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register for check-out.

The cashier asks “Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?”

The nine year old replies “Nope, not for my mom.”

Without thinking, the cashier responded “Well, they must be for your sister then?”

The nine year old quipped, “Nope, not for my sister either.”

The cashier had now become curious “Oh. Not for your mom and not for your sister, who are they for?”

The nine year old says “They’re for my four year old little brother.”

The cashier is surprised “Your four year old little brother??”

The nine year old explains: “Well yeah, they say on TV if you wear one of these you can swim or ride a bike and my little brother can’t do either of them!”