FukDatShhh.CoM

The health minister is visiting a psychiatric ward. He asks the head of psychology, “How do you determine if a patient is cured.”

The psychologist explains:

“We take them to the bathtub, which is filled with water, hand them a spoon and a cup and ask them to empty the bathtub.”

“I see,” says the health minister, “The cured person would choose the cup because it`s bigger, and would empty the tub faster.”

“Actually no,” replies the psychologist, “A normal person would simply pull the plug.”

A man and his wife were getting a divorce at a local court. But the custody of their child posed a problem.

The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the child into this world, she should retain custody of them.

The man also wanted custody of his children. The judge asked for his side of the story too.

After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and replied, “Judge, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belong to me or to the machine?”

Question: What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?

Answer: Tea, please.

Question: Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea?

Answer: Ceylon tea

Question: How would you like it? Black or White?

Answer: White

Question: Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ?

Answer: With milk.

Question: Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk?

Answer: With cow milk please.

Question: Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?

Answer: Um, I’ll take it black.

Question: Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?

Answer: With sugar.

Question: Beet sugar or cane sugar ?

Answer: Cane sugar.

Question: White , brown or yellow sugar?

Answer: Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead.

Question: Mineral water or still water?

Answer: Mineral water

Question: Flavored or non-flavored?

Answer: I’d rather die of thirst.

David received a parrot for his birthday. This parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren’t expletives were, to say the least, rude.

David tried to change the bird’s attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of to try and set a good example. Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird got worse. He shook the bird and the bird got more angry and more rude.

Finally in a moment of desperation, David put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird squawking and kicking and screaming then suddenly there was quiet. David was frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto David’s extended arm and said, “I’m sorry that I might have offended you with my language and actions and ask for your forgiveness. I will endeavor to correct my behavior.”

David was astounded at the bird’s change in attitude, and was just about to ask what had made such a drastic change, when the parrot continued,

“Now, if I may ask, what did the chicken do?”