Archive for April 19th, 2008
WTF! Super Pee Pee Brothers! (Who Got The Best Bathroom Skills?) Urinating Game For Nintendo WII
by FuKdAtShHh on Apr.19, 2008, under WTF!!!
Company impressed with proposal hack
by FrEiBeRgS2002 on Apr.19, 2008, under On the News..., Weird News
SEATTLE (UPI) – Officials with a Seattle video game company said they were delighted rather than irked to hear of a man who reprogrammed their game for a wedding proposal.
Bernie Peng, of Jersey City, N.J., said he spent one month reprogramming his girlfriend’s favorite game, “Bejeweled,” to display a wedding ring and a marriage proposal when she achieved a high enough score, the (Newark) New Jersey Star-Ledger reported Tuesday. His girlfriend, Tammy Li, reached the high score and subsequently accepted the proposal.
Officials with PopCap, the company that created the game, said they usually take issue with their games being reprogrammed, but they were so impressed by Peng’s story that they offered to pay for part of his wedding and offered to supply free copies of “Bejeweled 2 Deluxe” to guests at the August wedding.
“Most video game companies would frown on people manipulating their games,” said PopCap spokesman Garth Chouteau.
“But it won him a woman,” Chouteau said. “As a bunch of geeks we have to say, ‘Bernie, hats off to you.’”
Copyright 2008 by United Press International
Management Quotes
by FrEiBeRgS2002 on Apr.19, 2008, under Funny Jokes
A magazine recently ran a “management quotes” contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real-life dysfunctional managers.
Here are the top ten finalists:
- “As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks.” (This was the winning quote from Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp. in Redmond, WA)
- “What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter.” (Lykes Lines Shipping)
- “E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business.” (Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)
- “This project is so important, we can’t let things that are more important interfere with it.” (Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)
- “Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule.” (Plant manager, Delco Corporation)
- “No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We’ve been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I’ll let you know when it’s time to tell them.” (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)
- Quote from the Boss: “Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say.” (Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)
- My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said, “That would be better for me.” (Shipping executive, FTD Florists)
- “We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees.” (Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)
- One day my Boss asked me to submit a status report to him concerning a project I was working on. I asked him if tomorrow would be soon enough. He said, “If I wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow to ask for it!” (Hallmark Cards executive)
Man arrested for forgetting to pay for pop
by FrEiBeRgS2002 on Apr.19, 2008, under Weird News
CLEVELAND (UPI) — A Cleveland man says he was arrested after mistakenly leaving a store without paying for a $4 case of soda among his two cartloads of groceries.
Tom Sturgis said he paid for $157.20 worth of groceries at the self checkout lane of a Brooklyn, Ohio, supermarket and walked out the door not realizing he had forgotten to pay for the soda, which was on the shelf under the cart, WEWS-TV in Cleveland reported Tuesday.
Sturgis said a police officer working security asked to see his receipt.
“I went looking for the receipt, the pop wasn’t on it and they decided to have me arrested,” he said.
“It’s over a case of pop,” said Sturgis’ wife Wendy. “He turned around and offered to go back in and pay for it and the cop told him it’s like robbing a bank, you just can’t get caught robbing a bank and say, ‘I’m sorry, I’ll give you your money back.’”
Sturgis, who was charged with petty theft, spent 3 1/2 hours in jail, from 11:30 p.m. until 3 a.m.
Copyright 2008 by United Press International
Man beats up family after funeral
by FrEiBeRgS2002 on Apr.19, 2008, under Weird News
BOLINGBROOK, Ill. (UPI) – A 20-year-old Illinois man sent several people to the hospital when he became violent while his family was driving home from a funeral, police said.
The March 29, incident began when the man’s aunt scolded him for saying abusive things to his relatives, prompting him to sock her in the face, the Joliet Herald News reported.
Officials said the man’s mother pulled the car over on Illinois 53 when her son and his aunt’s boyfriend began fighting in the car.
When the fighting eventually ended, two brothers drove away with their mother.
The aunt said her sister fled the scene because “her 20-year-old son had several warrants and was on parole … and she didn’t want him picked up by police.”
The aunt, her boyfriend and niece reportedly went to Advocated Hospital in Bolingbrook for treatment of minor wounds.
Copyright 2008 by United Press International
New Company Policies
by FrEiBeRgS2002 on Apr.19, 2008, under Funny Jokes
Dress Code - It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days - We will no longer accept a doctor’s statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Personal Days - Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
Bereavement Leave – This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Toilet Use - Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the “Chronic Offenders category”. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company’s mental health policy.
Lunch Break - Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that’s all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.