FukDatShhh.CoM

NEW YORK (UPI) – New York police said they were hunting for a suspected bank robber who shed his clothes outside one bank he allegedly targeted and left his wallet in his pants.

Police said Cory Brown, 26, became the prime suspect in robberies at a Wachovia bank and a Commerce Bank after his clothes were found piled next to a tree near the Commerce location with his wallet still in the pants pocket, the New York Post reported Tuesday.

The wallet contained Brown’s birth certificate and Social Security card.

Police said about $3,900 was taken from the two banks.

Copyright 2008 by United Press International

NEW ORLEANS (UPI) — New Orleans authorities say a man who mistakenly believed there was a warrant for his arrest has been charged for fleeing from a sheriff’s deputy.

Jefferson Parish sheriff’s spokesman Col. John Fortunato said Gregory Williams, 27, ran from Sgt. Jimmy Wine, prompting the sergeant to give pursuit, The (New Orleans) Times-Picayune reported Tuesday.

Fortunato said Wine had approached Williams while investigating a report of a suspicious person in the area. He said the ensuing 20-minute chase climaxed when the suspect ran through a residence and broke a backyard fence before being caught by the pursuing sergeant.

Williams was charged with resisting arrest, simple burglary and simple criminal damage.

The spokesman said Williams told authorities he ran from Wine because he thought there was a warrant for his arrest.

However, Fortunato said, “he didn’t have any warrants.”

Copyright 2008 by United Press International

If you think, for one second, you’ve got a bad job, on your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy. I want you to go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson.

Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.

Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Now the fun part begins. Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will notice there is a disclosure in very fine print that reads:

“Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized.”

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, “I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson.” Have a wonderful day knowing that, no matter how bad it is, there is always a job that’s more of a pain than yours.

Four guys are driving across country together – one from Idaho, one from Nebraska, one from Florida, and one from New York.

A short ways down the road, the man from Idaho starts to pull potatoes from his bag and throws them out the window.

The man from Iowa turns to him and asks, “What the heck are you doing?” The man from Idaho says, “We have so many of these darned things in Idaho they’re laying around on the ground. I’m sick of looking at them!”

A few miles down the road, the man from Nebraska begins pulling husks of corn from his bag and throwing them out the window.

The man from Florida asks “What are you doing that for?” The Nebraskan replies, “We have so many of these darned things in Nebraska I’m sick of looking at them!”

Inspired by the others, the man from Florida opens the car door and pushes the New Yorker out.