FukDatShhh.CoM

APOKA, Fla. (UPI) – Two 6-month-old kittens did what residents of Apoka, Fla., were not brave enough to do: chase a wild bear up a tree.

Florida Fish and Wildlife worker Tom Shupe said the 200-pound bear had been terrorizing residents Friday — until the beast came across the brave kittens, WKMG-TV of Orlando, Fla., reported.

Jason Daniels said the kittens cornered the bear until it decided to seek refuge in a tree.

“(The kittens) had the bear just cornered at the fence and it saw the tree and just ran up the tree and has been there ever since,” said Daniels.

Shupe told the TV station the bear’s timidity was not hard to understand.

“They are a very timid bear and very non-aggressive and quite often it is a little poodle or cat that chases them up a tree,” he said.

Copyright 2008 by United Press International

A man bought a new Mercedes to celebrate his wife leaving him and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive.

The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.

“There’s no way they can catch a Mercedes,” he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100…..Then the reality of the situation hit him. “What am I doing?” he thought and pulled over.

The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car.

“It’s been a long hard day, this is the end of my shift and it’s Friday the 13th. I don’t feel like more paperwork, I don’t need the frustration or the overtime, so if you can give me a really good excuse for your driving that I haven’t heard before, you can go.”

The guy thinks about it for a second and says, “Last week my nagging wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!”

“Have a nice weekend,” said the officer.