FukDatShhh.CoM

SYDNEY (UPI) – An Australian cabbie was accused of stabbing a passenger three times after his route was questioned by the patron.

Mohamed Salah Mohamed pleaded not guilty to malicious wounding with intent to cause grievous bodily harm after he was charged with stabbing Matteo Larghi in his chest, arm and finger, the Sydney Morning Herald reported Tuesday.

Larghi said he spoke up after Mohamed appeared to be taking a longer route to Larghi’s home to collect a larger fare.

“I said (to the driver) something like, ‘Are you taking the long way? … I’m not a tourist,’” he testified.

Larghi said he started to exit the car after seeing the knife in Mohamed’s hand.

“He grabbed me… by the shirt and he stabbed me three times… on my chest, on my arm and finger,” he said.

Prosecutor Virginia Lydiard said a knife covered in Larghi’s blood was later found on a road along the route. She said the knife was missing its handle.

Copyright 2008 by United Press International

Wanda’s dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you a check.”

“Oh, by the way don’t worry about my bulldog. He won’t bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!” “I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!”

When the repairman arrived at Wanda’s apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn’t contain himself any longer and yelled,

“Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!” To which the parrot replied, “Get him, Spike!”

• Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
• For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
• A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
• Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are;

• You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the Duct Tape.
• Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
• Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
• If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.
• And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.

Yonkers rap star DMX will star in The Bleeding, a new upcoming horror/action flick about a family of vampires, AllHipHop.com has learned. In addition to DMX, the movie, also stars Michael Madsen (Reservoir Dogs, Donnie Brasco, Scary Movie 4), Armand Assante (American Gangster, E.R.), Vinnie Jones (Swordfish, Gone In Sixty Seconds,) Kat Von D (L.A. Ink) and others. The Bleeding centers around an ex-Army Ranger, who is seeking the person who murdered his parents. His search leads him to a family of vampires living in a former chemical weapons factory, which has been converted into a nightclub. DMX, born Earl Simmons, will start shooting The Bleeding next month, in North Carolina.

For the full story log on: http://allhiphop.com/stories/news/archive/2008/03/24/19519899.aspx