FukDatShhh.CoM

“Salary Theorem” states that “Engineers and Scientists can never earn as much as Business Executives and Sales People.”

This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:

1. Knowledge is Power.
2. Time is Money.

As every engineer knows:
Power = Work / Time

Since:
Knowledge = Power
Time = Money

It follows that:
Knowledge = Work/Money.

Solving for Money, we get:
Money = Work / Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.

Conclusion:
The less you know, the more you make.

It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale (and some advertising in the local paper) were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30, the store’s opening time, in front of the store.

A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud and colorful curses. On the man’s second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw, and knocked around a bit, and then thrown to the end of the line again. As he got up the second time, he said to the person at the end of the line…

“That does it! If they hit me one more time, I won’t open the store!”

A man walked into a Circle-K (a convenience store similar to a 7-11), put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided.

The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? Fifteen dollars.

Wanting to earn some money, Cletus decided to hire himself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. He went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs.

“Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?”

Cletus said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told him that the paint and ladders that he might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does he realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?”

The man replied, “He should. He was standing on the porch.”

A short time later, Cletus came to the door to collect his money. “You’re finished already?” the man asked.

“Yes,” Cletus answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.”

Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. “And by the way,” Cletus added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”