FukDatShhh.CoM

Bob was in trouble as he’d forgot his wedding anniversary and his wife was extremely upset.

She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in six seconds!”

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up she looked out the window and, sure enough, there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe, ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

A couple of young boys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track. All of a sudden, the Game Warden jumped out of the bushes.

Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods. The Game Warden was hot on his heels.

After about a half mile, the young man stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath, so the Game Warden finally caught up to him.

“Let’s see yer fishin’ license, Boy!” The Warden gasped.

With that, the boy pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license.

“Well, son,” said the Game Warden. “You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don’t have to run from me if you have a valid license!”

“Yes, sir,” replied the young guy. “But my friend back there, well, he don’t have one.”

MARTHA MARIA FIGUEROA DELACRUZ DE LOS SANTOS DE EL CAMINO DE LA REINA

15 South Projectos , Apartamento El Baisman
El Bronx, Nueva Jork, wung wung for sero sero

SELULA FON: (917) 555-5555 (today is terned off but I will get de monee
(tumoro)
FON DE LA CASA: Neybor’s fon, (788)999-9999 (just ask for me and they will
yell for me)

OBJECTED:
Juan day (maybe after dis job) I wanna opin a Day Kare in mine own
apartment
for teng kidz.

SKELLZ:
I wash my sisters kidz wheng she goes to de dancing at ‘Latin Quarta’, I
shange the kidz
pamperz, misk de milk and shocolate Quick in da botella
whilg I wash de novelas at de saing tine.

EJUCACION:
I grajuaded from fif grade. Deng I grajuated from aighf grade. Deng I
learned alot from my tia Juana, she let me quit skool so she cood show me
to
babysit my cozins, Juan, Pito, Tito,Flaco, Papo, Chavela, Chavelo, and
Yvette (pobrecita, she dunt even nose who her papi iz!!!)

WORK ESPERIENCE:
Wheng I got tired of babysittin, I woked in a fabrica sowing and stealing
dresses.
Reason for leabing: My jefe Hector, tried to hit on me and his lady Luz
Maria’ caught himg.

Deng I got anofa jub at B.I.M. storez , i wuz eng charge of folding de
genes.
Reason for leabing: Tio Juan died in my other country and I hadda go to de
funeraria.I din’t no him, but I hadda go ova dare, you know, for mortal
support and all dat. So anywhey, my jefe got mad and fired me.

Deng I stayed home and sold ‘ Avon ‘ cosmeticos.
I hadda to quik becose I
orderd too mucho stuff for my familia and dey didng paid. So weng ‘ Avon ‘
axed me furr de monee I didng hab it.

My last jub was at “Mi Baby Papi Chulo Day Care” I wached all the kidz for
all the moders who hadda get on welfel.

REFERENCES:
Jus call the payfon ecross de estreet and ask anywung ebout MARIA LA LOCA,
eberyone know me and dey tell ju all ebout mee