FukDatShhh.CoM

A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbor of his. The neighbor happened to be a lawyer.

Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbor and said, “Hey, if your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable for the cost of the meat?” The lawyer replied, “Of course, how much was the roast?” “$7.98.”

A few days later the butcher received a check in the mail for $7.98. Attached to it was an invoice that read: Legal Consultation Service: $150.

ST. AUGUSTINE, Fla. (UPI) – A Florida mother was arrested after police found her driving with beer buckled in the front seat but her toddler unrestrained in the back seat, a report said.

Tina D. Williams, 46, faces charges of drunken driving, child abuse, possession of drug paraphernalia, and driving without a license after officers stopped her for running a red light Sunday, the Jacksonville Florida Times-Union reported Tuesday.

Amber Tedrick, 20, reportedly was in the back seat of the car next to Williams’ unrestrained 16-month-old daughter.

When police asked Williams, who smelled of alcohol, why the toddler was not buckled in, she said she did not know, a police report said.

Police reportedly found a 24-pack of Busch beer buckled into the passenger seat and two pipes typically used for drug purposes in Williams’ purse.

Williams was held in the St. Johns County Jail in lieu of $31,000 bail, the newspaper said.

Copyright 2008 by United Press International

BERLIN (UPI) — The European Space Agency said a three-dimensional picture of Mars is available on the Internet, thanks to data from its Mars Express spacecraft.

A new high-resolution Digital Terrain Model data set just released will allow researchers to obtain new information about Mars in 3-D, ESA said.

Digital Terrain Models, or DTMs, allow scientists to “stand” on planetary surfaces. Although ordinary images can provide spectacular views, they do not convey topographical information.

The high resolution stereo camera aboard the spacecraft was designed to provide such 3-D information.

“Understanding the topography of Mars is essential to understanding its geology,” said Professor Gerhard Neukum of Germany’s Freie University, the study’s principal investigator.

The DTM can instantly tell researchers the slope of hillsides or the height of cliffs, the altitude and slope of lava flows or desert plains.

A special Web site provides the general public to visualize the data online at http://hrscview.fu-berlin.de.