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HARLINGEN, Texas (UPI) — A woman tallied 86 traffic violation warrants and fees topping $20,000, spreading her civic debt over two Texas communities, Harlingen and San Benito.

Valerie Ortiz Sanchez’s scofflaw ways didn’t end at Harlingen’s borders, where she racked up 76 traffic warrants totaling $18,896 in fines and fees since 1976, the city’s Valley Morning Star reported. In nearby San Benito, officials said she has at least 10 outstanding warrants and owes $2,718 in fines and fees dating back to 2007.

Harlingen police arrested Sanchez Monday after she was pulled over during a routine traffic stop, police spokesman David Osborne said. She was arrested on charges of having an expired registration sticker, not having insurance and not having a driver’s license — and then police discovered the old fines and fees.

Moments after Harlingen officials released Sanchez from jail — after she made the minimum required payment on the $18,896 in fines and court fees — San Benito police arrested her.

In Harlingen, a judge dismissed some of the oldest warrants, leaving Sanchez a $15,696 balance due.

Copyright 2008 by United Press International

What would happen if Burger King discontinued The Whopper?

from www.break.com

What would happen if Burger King discontinued The Whopper?

from www.break.com

What would happen if Burger King discontinued The Whopper?

from www.break.com

The guys at Burger King swap out Whoppers for Big Macs and Wendy’s Cheeseburgers on their customer’s orders.

from www.break.com

We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house.

The cat we put out in the yard scoots back into the house. We didn’t want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird. My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit.

Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn’t want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, “He’s just going upstairs to say ‘Goodbye’ to my mother.”

A few minutes later, I get into the cab. “Sorry I took so long,” I said, as we drove away.

“That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!!!”

The cab driver hit a parked car.

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the lowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.

In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.