FukDatShhh.CoM

GOTHENBURG , Sweden (UPI) – A suspicious device that gave authorities in Sweden a scare turned out not to be a bomb but a vibrating sex toy.

While sweeping trash from a Gothenburg parking lot, a janitor noticed a small package moving on its own, The Local reported Wednesday.

After the local bomb squad got the package open it discovered a battery-operated vibrator.

“But we don’t really expect anybody to come asking for it,” spokesman Jan Strannegard told Goteborgs-Posten.

Copyright 2008 by United Press International

MOSCOW (Reuters) – Russia’s military Thursday offered compensation to a homeowner after a small rocket veered off course and hit his country house outside Moscow.

Russian Internet chatrooms were buzzing late Wednesday after local news agencies reported that “an unidentified flying object dropped two bombs near Moscow.”

A defense ministry official told Reuters two rockets had gone astray during a military exercise near Moscow Wednesday afternoon. One hit the roof of an unoccupied house 3.5 km (2.2 miles) away.

“The damage is estimated at 60,000 rubles ($2,466). It will be compensated for in two days,” said Yevgeny Konashenkov, spokesman for Russian land troops. “The owner of the house treats the incident with understanding. He has no legal claims.”

Luckily for the nearby compound of cottage houses, the rockets disconnected at launch from the load of explosives they normally carry to clear minefields.

(Reporting by Dmitry Solovyov and Vera Kalian; Editing by Dominic Evans)

A man decided that he was going to ride a 10-speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got as far as Black Canyon City before the mountains just became to much and he could go no farther.

He stuck his thumb out, but after 3 hours hadn’t gotten a single person to stop.

Finally, a guy in a Corvette pulled over and offered him a ride. Of course, the bike wouldn’t fit in the car. The owner of the Corvette found a piece of rope lying by the highway, and tied it to his bumper. He then tied the other end to the bike and told the rider that he would drive slow.

Everything went fine for the first 30 miles.

Suddenly, another Corvette blew past them. Not to be outdone, the Corvette pulling the bike took off after the other.

A short distance down the road, the Corvettes, both going well over 120 mph, blew through a speed trap.

The police officer noted the speeds from his radar gun and radioed ahead to the another officer that he had two Corvettes headed his way at over 120 mph.

He then relayed,

“…and you’re not going to believe this, but there’s a guy on a 10 speed bike yelling to pass.”