FukDatShhh.CoM

The homeowner got into his old work clothes one Saturday morning and set about all the chores his wife had been urging him to do all week. He cleaned the garage, pruned the hedge, and was halfway through mowing the lawn when a woman pulled up in the driveway and called out her window, “Say, what do you get for yard work?”

The fellow thought for a moment, then answered, “The lady who lives here lets me sleep with her.”

A recent study found the average American walks about 900 miles a year.

Another study found the average American drinks, 22 gallons of beer a year. That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon. Kind Of Makes You Proud To Be American.