FukDatShhh.CoM

Black Testicles?

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour surgical procedure. A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial aponge bath. Nurse “, he mumbles, from behind the mask. “Are my testicles black?”

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, Sir. I’m only here to wash your upper body and feet.” He struggles to ask again, “Nurse, are my testicles black?”
Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around. Then, she takes a close look and says, “There’s nothing wrong with them,Sir!!”

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly,

“Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely……

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for A sperm count as part of his physical exam.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this Jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.”

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the Doctor’s’ office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on The previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man Explained, “Well, doc, it’s like this — first I tried with my right hand, but Nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.

Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her Right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her Mouth, fir St with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.

We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and She tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried Squeezin it between her knees, but still nothing.

The doctor was shocked! “You asked your neighbor? The old man replied, “Yep, none of us could get the Jar open.

Video interview with the Wu-Tang Clan who discuss their forthcoming album ‘8 Diagrams’.

BERLIN (Reuters) – A Berlin court has sentenced a man known as “Schnitzel Stephan” to 18 months in jail for cheating 64 restaurants in the past year when he was already on probation for previous unpaid eating binges.
The heavyset man of 160 kg (350 lb), with a thin grey beard, would routinely order lamb chops, steak or Viennese schnitzel along with several beers. When the bill came, he either ran for the door or told the waiter he had no money.
Iris Berger, a spokeswoman for the Berlin Justice Department, said Thursday the 43-year-old unemployed truck driver had been convicted on 64 counts of fraud. The total damage to restaurants was 3,000 euros ($4,100).

© Reuters 2007. All Rights Reserved

ROME (Reuters) – A Sicilian mother took away her 61-year-old son’s house keys, cut off his allowance and hauled him to the police station because he stayed out late.

Tired of her son’s misbehavior, the retiree in the central Sicilian city of Caltagirone turned to the police to “convince this blockhead” to behave properly, La Sicilia, one of Sicily’s leading newspapers, reported on Thursday.

The son responded by saying his mother did not give him a big enough weekly allowance and did not know how to cook.

“My son does not respect me, he doesn’t tell me where he’s going in the evenings and returns home late,” the woman was quoted as saying. “He is never happy with the food I make and always complains. This can’t go on.”

Police helped the squabbling duo make up and the two returned home together, with the son’s house keys and daily allowance restored.

Most Italian men still live at home late into their 30s, enjoying their “mamma’s” cooking, washing and ironing.

© Reuters 2007. All Rights Reserved.